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i just wanna be a better person, upgrade my vocabulary, my lifestyle, how i handle people & situations. just have complete self control i don’t want no negativity around me.
you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.
the worst thing about being mentally ill is like.. nothing is wrong.. my life is pretty okay right now.. everything is fine. and yet.. theres this sinking feeling in my stomach and i cant stop thinking about dying
depression or whatever is soooo embarrassing oops i ruined a large chunk of my future because i just didn’t feel like doing anything for a while . Epic Cringe babe...
being in my 20s is like I understand more of my mother and less than i ever have. My childhood friends are strangers to me and there’s no one i know better. i want to drink wine. i never stopped wanting to climb trees. i know more than I’ve ever known before. I don’t know anything at all. i’m seven years old and sixteen and twenty nine and seventy. I can’t tell when i'm happy. I think the only thing that will make me happy is to be little again. i want to be really old. i go to the ocean and feel like nothing matters more than that. in my bedroom everything matters so much. I go to the grocery store every day. i know how to cook a lot of things but the only thing i know how to eat is fried eggs. I can take care of myself but i want to be taken care of. i want to go home and I don't know where that is. i think it may be somewhere inside of me but i’m not sure
i want to be someone else’s safety. even nonromantically. i want to be “hey can i tell you something?” i want to be - i tried something new and i’m a little scared but i wanted to show you. i want to be “i knew i could trust you”. i want to be okay to hold the hand of, always ready to listen, always trying. even if i don’t get it perfect, you know? i just want to be a place other people can relax and be themselves and not worry for a fraction of an instant.